Premature Ejaculation, also called Premature or Rapid, is a sexual dysfunction that affects an average of 1 in 5 male individuals. It is also the least diagnosed and treated sexual dysfunction (only about 9% of people with premature ejaculation seek help).
What is?
Contrary to what many people think, this is not just a problem for inexperienced young people. Premature ejaculation can affect older men who have never suffered from it. It often becomes the subject of jokes and ridicule, making it difficult to seek help.
It can be explained as the inability of a man to delay orgasm and ejaculation (in slang, “turn around”) so that both involved can enjoy a satisfying sexual experience (without other sexual problems that can cause sexual intercourse).
How is it defined?
It is a sensation experienced by men that the period of time from penetration to ejaculation is too short, that they are unable to have control over their ejaculation. It is associated with concern and / or suffering on the part of those who suffer from it.
Conventionally, the sexologist in Delhi defines the problem for ejaculations that occur within 1 to 2 minutes after penetration, or before. However, there is no duration of the sexual act until ejaculating is said to be normal, it is important to note that the time to ejaculate may vary from person to person and according to situations or stages of life.
More time is not always better!
Television and films do not help when portraying sexual scenes in which very good looking (typically heterosexual) couples maintain sexual intercourse uninterruptedly for a considerable period of time, while the man maintains a very confident air and the woman achieves multiple orgasms.
In real life, things are not like that! The average duration of the sexual act (from penetration to orgasm) averages around 5 minutes, although it can vary considerably.
As long as the act is satisfactory to both partners, time should not be seen as a problem. Thirty seconds of intense excitement and intimacy is better than 10 minutes of routine and boredom!
Although pharmacological treatment exists, the first approach should include non-pharmacological measures:
Learn how to control your anxiety:
This is often related to reduced frequency or sexual experience, to fears associated with sex and to false expectations of failure that are created.
Do not focus on the duration of the sexual act:
Men with premature ejaculation focus their attention on the time of the sexual act and assume that the partner has the same focus, forgetting that he may not have the same concern and be more interested in other aspects of the relationship (kissing, touching, grab, hug, foreplay).
Some techniques you can apply:
1. Practice relaxation techniques (like yoga);
2. During the act, abstract yourself with non-sexual and non-stimulating thoughts;
3. Choose positions that put less pressure on the genitals (avoid the missionary position, for example);
4. Apply the “stop and start” technique: asking to stop sexual contact at a stage immediately prior to the climax stage (when there is no possibility of going back, and to which ejaculation follows), allowing your level of arousal decreases slightly (say, for half a minute), then resumes and repeats the process of stopping when you feel you are approaching the ejaculation point again;
5. “Compression” technique: consists of compressing firmly and for about 10 seconds the base of the glans penis using the middle, index and thumb fingers. It must be applied immediately before ejaculation and after any stimulation of the penis has ceased, thus reducing the reflex response of ejaculation, and can after restarting stimulation and repeat the process if necessary;
6. Masturbate before intercourse: about one to two hours beforehand, which will allow you to reduce levels of excitability and lengthen the time of ejaculatory inevitability;
7. Use a condom: giving preference to those that have retardant properties by reducing the penile sensitivity they cause.
Through these techniques you will acquire the ability to identify your average arousal interval, going through a series of gradual exercises that begin with self-stimulation, proceeding to manual stimulation by the partner, genital contact without movement and, finally, contact with the movement. This process gradually increases the ejaculation latency time, sexual confidence and self-esteem.
Involve the sexual partner in the treatment:
Individuals with premature ejaculation have shown greater difficulties in relating to others, than healthy individuals.
If you are in a relationship, including the partner in the treatment process may be important, but not mandatory, for the success of the treatment. However, it is known that it increases the effectiveness of the treatment and improves not only the couple’s sexual intercourse but also other aspects of the relationship.
You should talk about what you like and dislike about the relationship and not try to make him guess. You should also ask him about his tastes.
Psychotherapy and other psychological interventions:
They can be addressed only to the individual or the couple and have two main objectives. The first is to help develop the ability to delay ejaculation, increase self-confidence in sexual performance, decrease performance anxiety and broaden roles in sexual intercourse. The second focuses on solving psychological and interpersonal problems, of the individual, partner or couple, which may be precipitating factors, maintenance or caused by premature ejaculation.
Among the identified factors, we can have factors associated with the patient (performance anxiety and self-confidence); associated with partner (sexual dysfunction of partner; associated with the couple (conflict or lack of communication); associated with sexual intercourse (roles in the relationship, sexual satisfaction); environmental factors (stress events related to daily life).
In general, these are effective and sufficient interventions, in a good part of the cases, which seek to achieve an improvement in individual self-confidence and self-esteem, as well as an improvement in the couple’s communication.