What is an orgasm?

An orgasm is what normally happens when you get to the most intense part of sexual arousal. It usually feels great. When you have an orgasm (you arrive or you come), the sexual tension rises until it reaches its highest point and that is when the pressure of your body and genitals is released.

What happens when you have an orgasm?

Every person’s body is different, but there are some physical signals that happen when you reach an orgasm. The most noticeable sign is when you have a very intense sensation of pleasure in your genitals and throughout your body. The muscles in your vagina or penis, and also your anus, contract (tighten) about 1 time per second, and about 5 to 8 times. Your heart rate (heartbeat) and your breathing also speed up.

During an orgasm, your penis normally gives off a small stream of semen (1 to 2 tablespoons) of semen, this is called ejaculation. It is possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating or to ejaculate without having an orgasm, but usually, both happen at the same time.

It is normal for your vagina to get very wet before and during your orgasm. It is also possible that before or during orgasm a different fluid will come out of your vulva (sometimes called female ejaculation, or “squirting”). This fluid is not urine. Ejaculation by the vulva is less common than ejaculation by the penis, some people it happens, and others do not, and both are totally normal.

Immediately after an orgasm, your clitoris or glans (the head of your penis) may be very tender or it may be uncomfortable to touch them. You may also have sexual flushing which is when your chest, neck, and face turn red for a short time. Orgasm causes endorphins (the hormones that make you feel good) to be released, which is why after having one you may feel sleepy, relaxed, and happy. This is why some people have orgasms to relieve pain, stress, or to help them sleep.

Each person feels orgasms differently, and each time you have one, they feel different. Some are very intense, others very soft, and others neither very soft nor very intense. Orgasms vary for many reasons, including how comfortable you feel, how much excitement you feel, and how much sexual tension you accumulated before reaching orgasm.

How can I reach orgasm?

Most orgasms happen during masturbation or sex (such as oral, anal, or vaginal sex), when you or a partner stimulates (touches or rubs) your genitals. People who have a vulva usually have orgasms when they stimulate their clitoris, vagina, and/or anus. People who have a penis usually have orgasms when they stimulate their penis, testicles, and/or anus. Some people can reach orgasms by stimulating their nipples or even just having sexual thoughts.

Many things can affect your ability to have orgasms, such as your hormones, emotions, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, relationships, your physical or mental health, taking certain medications, and consuming alcohol or drugs.

Some people can have quick and easy orgasms, but others need more time and effort. You may be able to orgasm sometimes but not sometimes, depending on who you are with and what you are doing. All bodies are different and there is no one “right” way to orgasm.

Some people need stimulation in certain parts of their body in a particular way or with certain objects (such as vibrators) to reach an orgasm. Many people who have a vulva have orgasms if they stimulate their clitoris, but not with penetration into their vagina. Others simply cannot reach orgasm by stimulating their vagina. All of these differences are normal. Learning how to orgasm can take time and practice. Experimenting with what feels good can help you get to know your body and know what you like.

Try not to pressure yourself, or your partner, to have orgasms. Not everyone can get to orgasms during sex or when they are with other people. Sometimes circumstances just do not help (for example, you feel nervous, tired, or distracted). Some people can never have orgasms. If you and/or your partner cannot get there, it does not mean that they do not like each other or are bad at sex. The sex and masturbation can be something intimate and fun and can be enjoyed with or without orgasms. If you are having trouble having orgasms and you are concerned about this, you may have orgasmic dysfunction. It is quite common and there are treatments for this. Consult your sexologist in Delhi for treatment.